This poem is included here on my blog because listening is one of the primary skills of our Witness Selves. The way this is written, it seems like a dialog between two people and that is important. I am proposing it’s also great for our own inner dialog, because often we have issues listening to ourselves with presence and attention. And just like the magic of listening carefully to another person, those places inside us to need hearing also thrive.
I also love that this was written by a gay psychologist, Ralph Roughton!
On Listening by Ralph Roughton
When I ask you to listen to me
And you start by giving advice,
You have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you begin to tell me
Why I shouldn’t feel that way,
You are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something
To solve my problem,
You have failed me,
Strange as it may seem.
When you do something for me
That I can and need to do for myself,
You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
And I can do for myself.
I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
But not helpless.
But when you accept as simple fact
That I do feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational,
Then I can quit trying to convince you and
Get about the business of understanding this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious
And I don’t need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense
When we understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps, that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people…
Because God is mute, and
He or She doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.
God just listens and lets you work it out yourself.
So please listen and just hear me.
And, if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn,
And I’ll listen to you.