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I’m all about creating comfort in our lives as sensitives!
Though we have special needs due to our emotional and physical sensitivity, our comfort is the foundation for bringing our unique gifts to the world.
In this installment, I discuss ways to create mental peace, which is so important for our well-being. Since we are more emotionally and physically sensitive, we need to know how our mind can create or destroy our emotional and physical comfort.
Are you aware of some of your recurring thoughts?
Our minds are filled with negativity, and sometimes we feel helpless, like our mind is in control. What if there is a different part of you, a part that can be an objective witness to the way your mind works, who can help you get off the painful treadmill of toxic thoughts?
Tip 1: You Are Not your Mind. It is your Servant (like a robot)
You can cultivate an objective witness consciousness. This observer can watch how your mind works and improve your thinking to bring about greater mental peace.
Document a day in the life of your mind: from your first waking thoughts to your last thoughts before bed. I specifically point out these two moments in time because these are the richest times to insert new holistic thoughts and retrain you subconscious (see Tip 5).
Developing awareness of your daily thought patterns is the first step. Then you can start to make the important changes that will gradually create more and more mental peace and comfort.
Tip 2: Back-Talk Your Negative Self-talk
Once you have an awareness of your negative thought patterns, you can begin to unravel them. Notice your judgmental thoughts.
Judgmental thoughts limit your ability to take in new information, because you’ve already decided how things are and put them in black and white. Many times these judgements come from our parents, and sometimes they come from intense life experiences. Either way, that was then, and this situation could look the same and be TOTALLY DIFFERENT.
That’s my first line of defense against mental peace destroying judgments. “It looks the same, however it might be different.”
Staying in that sense of curiosity, wonder, and open-mindedness has proven to be correct. The situation truly was different. I think there is a strong correlation between thinking something could be different and it actually becoming different. It’s like we’re allowing it and willing to see it as different, so it is. Kinda magical, really.
Judgements tie up our creative, resilient energy. When we judge, we limit our experience of life to what we expect from past experiences – not allowing the present experience to be something new or unique that could even blow our socks off! We close ourselves off to what might be, what could be, and sometimes even hiding the truth of the situation from ourselves. Judgement dis-empowers and blocks us from a fuller experience of life.
Cultivate a willingness to disbelieve your beliefs and judgments. Become curious and wonder what could be so you can let something new come in that could be exciting!
Tip 3: Thoughts Create Emotions
As if the limitation of our human nature to see new experiences completely through the filter of past experiences wasn’t enough, we also worry ourselves to death. Our thinking often goes like this:
This situation sucked the last time it happened. Here it is happening again, so it is going to suck again. —> Negative emotions/feelings
Note: judging the situation as the same leads to pain
This is an example of how our, often judgmental, thoughts create our emotions. Go back through your daily record of thoughts and make a note (in a different color) of the emotions that came up after your thoughts.
You’ll notice that after you smack-talk yourself you probably go into low self-confidence, which can descend even further to sadness, depression, and, for some of us, a drive to anesthetize those low feelings with alcohol or another addiction. Eeeek!
This is, unfortunately, human nature too. However, we can re-train our brains. Start cultivating positive self-talk to counteract the negative thoughts. Experiment in just one area of your negative thoughts. It can look something like this:
This situation sucked the last time it happened, but I learned a lot. This situation seems to be the same, and I’m choosing to believe it only looks the same. Maybe it’s actually different. I have control and will make different choices so I can have a better experience this time. Maybe it will even blow my socks off! —> positive emotions/feelings
This is one of my favorite mental peace and comfort processes! I hope you enjoy it too.
Tip 4: Empty Mind Training
Many gurus tell us to silence our minds. However, most of the westerners I meet say it’s nearly impossible to do that. We are inundated with so many choices, experiences, and complexity that we are “on” 24X7.
Our brain never really gets a rest.
When your brain doesn’t get to rest, it doesn’t have mental peace. A mind without peace is less connected to our spiritual guidance, intuition and support, which creates more mental peace. That’s why the gurus want us to learn how to do it!
Confession: I am with you! I am one of these people who is ON 24X7. I too find it to be an immense challenge to shut up my brain, and I have for my whole life.
My guides blessed me with a very simple mantra that I’ll share with you: Silent Mind, Empty Mind.
My meditation students report they can train their brain to shut up in only a week using this direct command. Then they can focus long enough to meditate. You always use this mantra when your mind becomes a jumble.
Next step: After you get your mind quiet, see how long you can sustain it. One of my favorite gurus, Sri Prem Baba, says we get so much benefit out of only 1 minute of silence a day. I agree. It is amazing, as good as terminal muscle tension going squish from a skillful massage. Just breath into that empty space and see how you like it.
Tip 5: Your Subconscious Drives your Life
This tip is big enough for a whole blog series unto itself, that’s why I’m teaching all about re-programming your subconscious in the first couple days of my retreats.
Truth: A lot of the judgements I mentioned in Tip #1 are really from your childhood. Many don’t even come from a conscious experience. The judgement or belief is rooted in your subconscious – driving you towards something or away from something. Our subconscious is the center of our drives and motivations in life. In most ways, it operates in our blind spot.
We can see the handiwork of our subconscious by looking at our lives. We have what we believe we can have, no more and no less.
I know people who have done heaps of self-development work, and specifically brain re-training to cleanse and make their subconscious work for them. They appear to be magical because things “just happen for them.” They have good luck, are living a dream life, achieve more while doing less, and so on.
It can happen for you too.
The mental peace tips in this post are a great place to start consciously digging out. Here is a tip for re-programming your subconscious to work for you instead of against you (thanks to Joseph Murphy*):
1. Create a powerful affirmation about something you want. Use powerful, present-time positive language.
Ex: My digestive system functions with perfect health. All the components of my digestion function perfectly with ease and grace, including my peristalsis, nutritional uptake, and water balancing functions. My digestive system is in right relationship with all the other systems of my body. My subconscious makes it so.
2. Repeat this phrase 2-3 times just as you are falling asleep and just upon waking (you want to be as close to a Theta brainwave state as possible.) Ideally, find 2-3 other times during the day when you can do Tip #4 and repeat the phrase.
3. The complexity of your situation defines the number of days/weeks needed for your brain training. The number of pre-existing beliefs, for example, that need to be re-programmed and whether you’re asking for a parking space or a husband. The subconscious loves repetition, simplicity and clarity. Some people gain results very quickly and magically. I hope you’re one of them!
In my next installment I’ll go into spiritual comforts for the sensitive…and spoiler alert, the final installment will take all of these tips into a higher octave!
*Check out this great reference on how to re-program your subconscious:
The Power of your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy (free public domain).
You can also re-wire your annoying habits with the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.